There have been many moments in life that I felt were kinda creepy, like when a guy I barely knew offered to pay me an expensive ticket to a show, or when my friend rambled nervously about how his exboyfriend would never survive without him… And this book is confirming that creepy behaviours are really associated with controling, manipulative, abusive partners. This is giving me more confidence in my creep-dar. I think everyone should join me.
It actually has to do with how our brains work. We do this thing called “thin slicing”, where we analyze micro details of a situation and look for associations with things we’ve seen before. This is a very fast process and it’s not a rational one, and often we get this “bad vibes” feeling way before our rational mind realizes the reason why we’re uncomfortable.
So yes, listen to your discomfort. That’s your brain picking up on signals that there is something wrong with the situation you’re in, signals that your rational mind didn’t perceive yet. It’s a built-in survival mechanism. You get bad feelings about a dude, it’s probably because you noticed something about him that matched some other creep you’ve met before.